My First Atheist Christmas Pt I

"I know you're young but I wish you open your eyes to the truth" hovered over my ears, like innocuous, snow white clouds. For a split second they floated and remained stagnant. Suddenly, the cloud became a doleful gray and began to hail, the lightning of the words struck my mind without discretion. The heat of the words seared my heart and caused me a bitter disposition for a couple minutes, which I must admit, as humbly as possible, I did a perfect job of hiding my scathing anger behind series of sarcastic utterances and a couple sardonic remarks. I hugged my father after wishing him the fortuitous events for 2015. It was time for prayer, so my sister and I knelt roughly four feet away from my parents and brother who grasped the bible with his whole self.  They prayed an our father and hail mary in English, to the effect of their own voices, as my sister and I remained mute. My mother glanced at me once, she had to have expected this. This was my first christmas out of the closet as an atheist, I would no longer be bullied into doing things I felt were inane. They chanted some prayers in polish, to which effect I understood not. We finally got off our knees and onto our feet. As if by instinct I remarked, "That was shorter than last year." Father declared that I had no say because I hadn't participated in the prayer. So be it. That was a challenge I very openly accepted with open arms. Sure I was a tad vindictive. Sure, this was turning into a tv show drama.

I woke up on christmas eve to the banging of pots and smells of meats being cooked. The house was busily stirring, my mom was downstairs already prepping for the evening. She was accompanied by my father who swiftly left, to my understanding he left for the store. I asked if I could help at all, although my responsibilities mostly lay with the day prior's vacuuming, lawn-mowing, dusting, washing of dishes, sweeping, and a little more. Today would be rather uneventful, to my effect in which I found myself at a friend's house. I spent the next three hours honing my virtual house building skills and having lightly contentious conversations about many issues. Also, you did read that right- two ninteen year olds tried their skills at Minecraft. I found myself enthralled in the simple game, the both of us serendipitous engaged to the dynamics of destroying blocks of material, collecting them, and thus moving them somewhere else. With a light, secret groan, I biked back home. Again, I found myself with a chore to do and was left to my own escapades. This included reading an excerpt of The Origin of Species before I had to get dressed for dinner. I finally got the get up, boasting my new floral tie and calogne. I happened to be the last one to the table.

I was the last one to leave. After the aforementioned series of events and everyone was finished partaking the many numerous esculent treats, my mom asked me my plans for the new year. I will not bore you with such details, however we ended up on the conversation of death. My dad, of course, had something smart to chime in, enthusiastically informing me I will end up in one of two places, worthy mention of my mother asking me if I'm worried about my soul. I insinuated the lack of soul and proceeded to address my father, starting with "well dad this is a tad odd, but..." I then did a drum roll on the table and continued, rather nonchalantly, "there is nothing after. Kind of like sleep but you never wake up." My dad shot me an angry look, my brother left the table soon after, my parents rounded up dishes, and my sister left after we exchanged some words. I did not ask for this,   they came with the debate to me, let that be known.
I washed the dishes, my hands left soft and a little prune like as a result of warm, soapy water. I ascended the stairs to my room, and was met by my father. He found it in himself to confront me about the bible I asked them to send to me. I told him I was studying it. He instructed me to read the footnotes, "then I'll understand."
I angrily remarked that he "needs to stop trying to convert me back." In swift response he replied that "[he] is my parent and concerned about [me]. It is [his] responsibility." I signaled him off with an ingratiating nod. I began writing this on my bed and finish on my phone, in the backseat of a civic headed to a sanctuary celebrating a fabled virgin birth.
This was my first Christmas dinner as an out of the closet atheist. I cannot wait to record my thoughts of my first Christmas mass as an out of the closet atheist.
Peace and happy holidays!